An Ode To Doubles

In Trinidad we have a delicacy
That is yellowish in colour yet savoury
It is guaranteed to full an empty belly
Without leaving a full pocket empty

Of what is this wonder food I speak
For breakfast, lunch or dinner you could eat
No searching, no looking, no troubles
Within a 10 mile radius you could find Doubles

I shall now offer a grand description
And accurate will be my depiction
For years and years of information
Have prepared me for this situation

Firstly there may be a line
No bother, it's worth the time
When you get the scent
On doubles you become hell bent

Next is some consistently cut grease proof paper
No, doubles, you don't eat in plate or saucer
Next by two comes the King, the Bara
Fluffy, soft, flexible, yellow in colour

Next is the sultry, flowing, yellow channa
Ah, what next I'm sure you will wonder
Is hot pepper, mango, chutney in de mix
Doubles is serious thing, this eh no kicks!

Then with fold of a hand and flick of a wrist
The doubles is packaged as tight as a fist
A skill that I up to now cannot understand
A skill honed in by the power of one's hand

Now for the best part in all of the galaxy
You take that first bite, chew, pure ecstasy
Feeling of an orgasmic nature take over
I even see some people taking a smoke after

I thank specific members of an ethnic origin
For this, my unapologetic not so guilty little sin
Till we meet again my bara and channa friend
I will savour you, love you, till my days have end

THIS IS COPYRIGHT OF GERARD MARIO OSEI EDWARDS, WRITTEN ON THIS DAY BY HIMSELF, SUNDAY APRIL 23RD IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2006 AFTER EATING THREE, YES, THREE DOUBLES, I.E., SIX BARRA, AND PLENTY CHANNA. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

TBS 6496 Yuh Blasted Crapaud...

Crapaud - a toad or a frog

Understand? Good, now let's move on to a similie...

Most Trinidadians drive like Crapauds. Of course frogs can't drive, but if they did, they would drive like Trinis. Why?

How many frogs do we see splatered on our nations roadways?

How many times are we driving along, singing a song and then in the corner of one's eye, we see him there, the little frog, clear of danger, but then, as soon as one is close enough to bounce said frog he jumps out in the middle of the road and you squish him with either your right rear tyre or your back left tyre. Your experience may vary, I've heard of some getting them with there left rear tyre. But these are exceptional cases.

Thus the average Trini driver is like a blasted Crapaud. Acting the fool on the road, doing all sorts of tomfoolery as if trying to get themselves killed, like a blasted Crapaud.

FROM NOW ON I WILL HIGHLIGHT CRAPAUD's WITH THEIR NUMBER PLATES ON THIS BLOG.

TBS 6496, a Nissan Frontier, was in front of me driving home on friday of last. Said Tray Van, was swerving all over the place, not using his indicator and doing or sorts of johnidiotness (cousin of tomfoolery). Said Tray Van then pulled into the gas station where I observed that the driver was as drunk as fish, a toad fish mind you.

You are the first Crapaud, and surely not the last.

Watch out T&T I am like salt. I will be on allyuh Crapaud's back causing you much discomfort till all Crapauds are off our nations roadways.