Why I am a Soca Worrier...

Note the spelling, which then changes the literary meaning of what I shall convey in the following, few, or not so few lines, the blog is now being conceptualized, so it's hard to tell. Who knows, this may be chapter 1.

Next is a disclaimer.

I am very nationalistic, patriotic, untreasonistic and all those adjectives which can be used to describe one's solidarity to one's country. Now, hear this, I am also not as proud to be Trinidadian as I should, no, as I could be. Explanation is not required, just open any daily newspaper and drive on our nation's roads and you'd know why. If you don't share my view, I think you're delusional and probably won't agree with anything you're about to read.

If that is the case, I suggest moving your cursor to the top rightmost corner of your screen and clicking on the red "X". This, of course is dependent on your version of Windows and/or your appearance settings. So if you are so inclined, good bye.

Now for those of you who have stayed and are interested let's get down to business.

Our national football team is off to the World Cup 2006 in Germany. They have been christened the Soca Warriors, aptly named after our national music and their warring mentality in achieving entry into the world football finals.

However, I am a Soca Worrier. I worry because I see and hear people around us talk about bringing home the trophy, yes the world cup trophy and beating teams like England, Sweden and Paraguay to move to the 2nd round.

I am worried because I hear entertainers, people of intellingence, garnering cheers and screams and puppet like movements from crowds by qestionly screaming, "Who say we bringing de world cup trophy home?"

I worry because we have lost our last three games in a row, two of which were from teams who did not have the mettle to make it to the world cup.

I worry because I am a realist. My realistic realism tells me that we're really not going to do any real damage on the world cup stage.

I worry because when T&T plays football it looks like a game where there is nothing to lose, but more frighteningly nothing to gain. Like a fete match where the prize is a case of beers and the heckling of supporters from the other side.

I'm no big football man. I have never even really played. But I can compare. I've seen other teams play and T&T does not even come close.

The reasons I do not know.

If I sound negative it's not out of cynism. It's out of feeling scared for a nation that has fooled itself into thinking that we can reach 2nd round. That kind of hope is needed but I think that it is now beyond hope, people actually believe. Imagine the disappointment if we don't get there.

I wish the boys the best. You guys are of the same soil as me and I'm sure you'll give your best. However, don't hate me because I am a Soca Worrier...

Oh no Mr. Impsbert...

Usually, an experience which summons much elation and joy in my life, turned out this morning to be one which was emotionally antonymious (derived from the word antonym, i.e. opposite). To cut a long story short...Mr. Colm Impbert (hereinafter called "Impsbert") tell the doubles man (hereinafter called "the victim") that he has to move because he (the victim) causing too much traffic and bad driving.

Now for those of you who don't know, Mr. Impsbert is the MP for our area and also the Minister of Works and Transport. And like most politicians, he has "secondary cause as a primary effect syndrome". So it's not that most Trinidadians drive like jackasses and Maraval already has bad traffic because of poor planning by his said ministry. No, it's the doublesman's fault, oops, sorry the victim's fault.

Let me expatiate on the "Secondary Cause as a Primary Effect Syndrome" from which all Politicians suffer. The source of this psychosis is yet to identified, verified, validified, or made-up-ified by me. But it can be defined as a state of being or always of the idiotic opinion that the real cause of a problem is not in fact the real cause of the problem, but some other unrelated and disjointed thing is blamed or identified as the "real" cause. This is why I was happy when I heard the slogan, "guns don't kill people, people kill people". I always said, don't blame the guns, they don't shoot on their own, even though some are automatic weapons.

But seriously, politicians never deal with the real reasons or causes of problems, but always seek to address other unrelated issues and then wonder why, while looking quite stupid on TV, the problem still exists. Then they just blame the previous administration. Ah lie?

I will now try to be very unpolitical like or maybe I could just say sane, sensible and logical. I will now try to deal with the real problem, the real cause, which will then affect the real effect, which is what we want to deal with in the first place.

I move to remove Mr. Impsbert from Office as I think this will be a good move, one which I am moved to reccommend. My recommendations are based on the fact that Mr. Impsbert and his ministry have been doing road improvements works in Maraval that were supposed to finish by February of this year. To date, the works are not even 50% completed. In fact, calling it works is a contradiction, it should be called stops or slows. This has been responsible for more traffic than that blamed on our victim.

Mr. Impsbert, leave the doublesman alone and go and do something proper fuh de nation.

Nuff said!