Kiss the girl and make her...

This eh no Georgie Porgie thing! I never did understand that Mr. Porgie pervert, his association with deserts and why he molested those girls. Mostly I did not understand why I had to learn that poem at such an impressionable age. It has scarred me for life...

Central Bank. Free tickets. Wine and so on before the show. It was a play. Went with my Rayanne.

Must admit I thought I was going to see some homo thing with who sleepin with who, who use they Christmas curtains to make a wedding dress, who leave de condense milk open, come here yuh picky head, good fuh nuttin, welee welee, wajang and wajank ting.

Apart from the people sitting next to me, these pre conceptions were otherwise not present.

The Play was really good! I was so impressed. It was not your typical murder mystery. The acting was impeccable and the everything about it was good. It was good wholesome comedic fun. I would reccommend the play to anyone!

Big up to Fareid. The young guy that produced it. I shall be following you up on future pursuits.

In search of Curried Barbed Wire and Dhal...

Forget the title. It's something my father says. Like me he says a lot but at the end of the day, we've said nothing.

Curry. It's Saturday. Traditionally, it's supposed to be curry day. I haven't even smelt curry for the day. This is almost criminal. I am sure that this is in some way unethical, immoral even. Definitely a bad thing.

There are packs of curry in my cupboard. I am contemplating making some. However there is nothing to curry. I used to make a mean curry corn beef. Yes, curry corn beef. Doh bother to read it again. If you don't believe what you've read, message me, I'll make some for you.

Now on the real yellow sauce of this post.

I want to someday open a 24 hour drive thru roti shop. I will call it Epi-curry-us. For those of us who are ignorant of the fact (Trini's please don't get offended and start to behave ingnorant), Epicureous comes from Epicurean which basically means in pursuit of sensual pleasures (get your mind out of the gutter) relating to good food and comfort.

Visa and Mastercard accepted. You pull up, call down your order and then bham! Yuh drive thru. Roti in seconds from the comfort of your air conditioned car.

Prices? Better than a central roti shop!

Taste? Better than that roti shop in Gasparillo by de Gas Station.

Would you come curry-favour with me?

The Relation Ship

Wait!!!!!!!!! Hold on!!!!!!!!!!! Please read carefully!!!!!!!!

Hopefully, I would've gotten your undivided (always wondered why not unmultiplied) attention by my elegantly clever use of exclamation marks. Or so I hoped...

The thoughts expressed herein and henceforth do not at all mimic, resemble, imitate or ape any experiences that I have had in past relationships, my lovely present relationship, or any future relationships if there are any. If you do not understand this, kindly start from the beginning and read it again, and again, and again till you understand this. With that said...

To me, the crux of a relationship is in it's name. relationSHIP. Yes a ship, a 1) boat, where 2) both people are involved and sometimes ship happens along the journey. Being floatatious (not sure if that's a word) in the nature, a ship must travel by sea. You see, sea best describes a relationship, sometimes the ride is smooth, the sun is out, the wind is blowing and you're cruising along nicely. Other times, the ride is rough, there's a storm brewing, lightning and thunder, brimstone and fire, rain beating down at your face, you can't see clearly ahead, not too sure where you are going. You think about abandoning ship.

Then some ships like to island hop. That is de horner man and horneress (female). I wonder if female is a Jamaican word? Jamaicans say "fi" (pronounced fee) which in proper English means "for". So fi male, for man? Just wondering... (feminists, please, go and cool yuhself with a mauby fizz, I was jus joking)

Others, prefer to roam the seas alone, and like a military ship, not letting any other vessels come close. Using bombs, torpedos and all sorts of weapons of mass destruction to defer potential suitors who may want to jump on board.

Some like boats of a similar nature, yes, a guy ship liking buoys.

Some reach a stage where they produce smaller boats, dinghies. But then somewhere along the way ship happens and some dinghies go with the daddy boat and some stay with the mommy boat.

Some ships take things for granted like the Titanic. Not looking for the obstacles ahead. Next thing big hole in de boat and they produce two movies after your sorry self.

Some ships might be musical like David Rudder.

Some ships move fast. Hello ship, I am ship. Next thing de two ships join and is a catamarang in a year or two.

Other ships move slowly. They take some time to tie the knots.

Some ships' radars need to be active. Always looking for another boat to cruise behind. That's de horner thing again.

Me? I don't know, hoping one day to put down my anchor with the hope that it's the right place, at the right time and the depth required is there...

I miss traffic...me thinks?

Up to not too long ago, all now I would be happily sleeping, vacationing, school is out for easter vacation.

Instead I am a rat, in the race, remembering that 2nd place is the 1st loser.

No school means less traffic which at first did not make sense to me because kiddies can't drive, but then I thought about it some more...

Me thinks I miss traffic. Don't get me wrong eh, traffic is bad, but as in all things in life except politics, there are some positives. Here they are listed in bullet points for your ease of reference...

1. Traffic allows you to listen to an entire cd on your way to work. This morning I only got up to track 4 or 5 of my John Legend CD. I was mad vex. Normally I can listen to that whole cd and get what I need to make it through the day. Damn you free flowing traffic.

2. Traffic, like a good mirror, allows for reflection. I have done some of my best thinking in traffic. Maybe it's the diesel fumes of the truck in front that put my mind into a higher state of consciousness, I do not know.

3. Traffic allowed me varying cultural experiences. Depending on who's in front, behind or a few cars in between and how much money they spent on pong, I get to hear music I would normally not listen to. In fact, let me re prhase, music I would never listen to, at least not in this lifetime, given previous broughtupcy and secondary education schooling.

4. Traffic made me sit back and enjoy my surroundings. Sometimes I would enjoy the same set of surroundings for more than 5 minutes at a time.

Given that you are interested in the above, or that you have read up to here in the post, please e mail any positives that you have about traffic to trafficpositives@emailaddressdoesnotexist.com

Disclaimer: The above post is in no way connected with Traffic, the Soca band where Destra is a lead vocalist and whom I loved till she sold herself to the Irish Devil, translation, Digicel.

Nuff said!