Saturday Night Cut Arse by Bobby's (Jerk, not de Bar)

So! Ah liming by ah padner in Bournes road, down in de James, Saint that is, when ah Bobby's jerk vibes hit mih like a 5 tonne bedford full up wid one setta ole iron on de way to buss de play whe mark before de machine close fuh de lunch time draw, i.e. it hit mih hard. Dat sentence was kinda long, I need to learn how to punctuate, before I pontificate.

So I was chauffered that night and de chaffeur was bussing dong some pelau, so I borrow he mom's car. Brand new, nice car eh.

So ah come out of de bournes road and gone dong in de James by Bobby's Jerk.Come out side, order mih jerk, next ting I jus see two woman fighting. Fighting like man, cuff and kick, one advantaging de next, landing some solid punches, ting yuh does see on showtime boxing after dark.

Next ting I see de fight move to mih padner mudder car. Ah say oh gorm and ah gone to redirect de scuffle away from de vehicle.

Next thing ah see ah wig come off. Den ah hear, "Yuh bullerman! Is sick yuh sick so!" De fight will now be redefined as follow, a woman beating a man, but a not so manly man. Next thing de woman pull off de man shirt and I see ah navel breakers underneath.

Den de man start to bawl out, "Wham to she! I never do she nutten! Me eh even know she!" Then de woman say, "Yuh faggot, is man yuh like tuh take, lemme beat it outa yuh".

It was at that point I realized that this woman probably thought it was her God given responsibility to go around St. James main road beating de homo out of homosexuals and even getting some hetero into the mix with them 1 - 2, left right then left again combos, well de mounta licks I see, I have to come to this conclusion.

So anyway, I tell them to move from de car or I beat she and de not so manly man together! Next thing de fight done and she gone.

So next ting I ready to go home with my jerk chicken and I see de girl come back with ah big leather belt and beat de man again.

How did it end? De girl said, "Ah go f**k yuh next!" and stormed off in an easterly direction.

Well yuh know I did make mih exit quick quick, cause I see how she deliver she licks, so I did not want to wait around for her promise...

I feel I should just stop going to St. James to do anything, even buy punch...