The concept of 1/2 a chicken

Really, it's not much of a concept.

That is until now...

In order not to call names and cause disrepute to well established, privately owned enterprises, I shall not. You may however figure it out.

I went to some Shoppes in Maraval, by an Arabian called Lawrence to purchase some Arabianesque food, particulary half a garlic chicken (not that the breed or species of chicken is garlic, as in boneless chicken, or as in pitbull as a type of dog, garlic referring to it's method of preparation) and some baba ganoush, a.ka. melongene, a.k.a eggplant. This is a routine order for me, however, today things would take a turn, expectations of an episode of "The Twilight Zone" come to mind, just less scary, or maybe just as...

So that you get the jist, I shall employ a literary device using fancy, complicated literary devices as follows:

So that there is no confusion, "Me" is me and "She" is she, de cashier, water taker outer, goer in de backer and tell them what food to cooker and steupser (sucker of teether) when under under cashier stress, which I am sure is on the top ten list of most stressful jobs in the world. Right after actuaries and maybe before bomb difusers.

So back to my fancy literary devices...

Me: Hi, can I have half a garlic chicken and an order of baba ganoush please?
She: Yeah, das $32.
Me: No no no, I normally buy this and it's normally $41. Are you sure you have the right order?
She: Yeah, leg and thigh and baba ganoush.
Me: No, no, half a chicken and baba ganoush.
She: Das wha ah say. Leg and thigh and baba ganoush.
Me: Half a chicken is a leg and thigh and a breast and wing?
She: Wha? You not understanding what I am saying...

Then she makes the mistake to look at me like I'm stupid. This is where sarcasm and downright intolerance of stupidity by me, on her doing, stepped into things. Plus I had just come from gym. As Bob Marley say, "ah 'ungry is ah angry man"

The saga continues...

Me: Think about a chicken. Cut it in half. You get one breast, one wing, one leg and one thigh.
She: Hol' on, ah comin back. (Comes back with her just as stupid friend)
She2: Can we help you sir?
Me: Yes, I want half a chicken and some baba ganoush.
She: Breast and Wing or Leg and Thigh?
Me: WHAT? Is this is joke? A reality tv show that Synergy or Gayelle is doing?
She2: What? (then looks at She) Like he really doh understand.
Me: Think about a chicken. From what I understand, they are like the species of most birds with two wings, two breasts, two legs and two thighs. (Then much to the amazement of everyone in the food outlet, I started to dance and flap like a chicken). Continuing, so I want half of that! Half of 2 is 1. One of each.
She: (Still confused!) Yuh want two separate orders?
Digusted customer in the back counting on his fingers: HE WANT 1 BREAST, 1 WING, 1 LEG and 1 THIGH!!!! Oh shit man, gih de man de ting, allyuh go take whole friggin day to figure that out? Dat man have real patiece.
She and She 2: We don't sell it like that.
Me: AH GO PAY FOR IT HOWEVER YUH DOES SELL IT!
She: Well arite, oh gosh...

I finally got my chicken.

STEUPS...